lion:

when someone reading in class and your name is in the story

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(via katnicoleneon)

lamefuckboy:

im-a-walking-paradox:

hip-hop-lifestyle:

what if your friend had a freak accident where his thang got cut off and he need a dick transplant and he ask you for 3 inches

how he gon ask me for all I got

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(via the-wild-buttsex)

officialzirry:

when you walk into a room and see a bunch of people you hate

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(via rentboylouis)

raptorific:

I hit words at random on iOS 8’s new predictive text feature so I could see what type of sentence my phone thinks I’m likely to say, and

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(via mandehmouse)

  • me when it starts getting cloudy: yeees
  • me when it starts raining: yeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS
jesslaughingalonewithnewleaf:

stickyhunter:

oldmancaleb:

Peach’s panties were deemed to risque for a young audience in the 3DS version of Super Smash Bros. Instead, children playing the game will be welcomed to T H E V O I D


well well children, welcome to the void

"Mom, where do babies come from?"
"T H E  V O I D"
chemicaldarkshine:

hardestcopy:

bijou1986:

A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, “really Mom, I can tell what you’re thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more”.About a week later the roommate remarked, “ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?”He responded, “Well I’m sure she didn’t but I will email her and ask just to be sure” he sat down and wrote:Hey MomI’m not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn’t take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.Love,Your Son.A couple days later he got a response from his mother:Dear Son,I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don’t sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.When are the two of you coming for dinner?Love,Mom


BEST MOM

I’m crYING
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